Offer What You Have Today

What is on Your Heart Today?

No doubt you’ve asked that question to those you serve innumerable times. But when was the last time someone engaged you with this question? You have something there. Humor me. Something you will take with you as you make your visits. Something that troubles you today. A fight with a spouse? A misunderstanding with a fellow employee? An illness in the family? Not enough sleep last night? Perhaps you feel a lack of connection? Or maybe there is an unexpected joy you have today? A phone call from a close friend? A personal record in a 5K run? An extraordinary sunrise?

Offer What You Have

You’ve asked countless people to reflect on themselves. Now I’d like you to take a moment. Grab paper and a pencil or open notes on your phone. Write one to three things that are on your heart today. I’ll wait.
How are these things shaping you today? Are your troubles keeping you distant? You still have to show up. Are your joys filling you with thankfulness? Give it all away. You bring life, in all its complexities, in all its frailties, in all its raptures to those you serve. Your experiences serve you. Your emotions inform you. Your successes and your failures equip you.
Offer what you have.

The Power of Pause

When I first worked in hospice care, words were often absent, and I became anxious before visits. But experience served me as I discovered it was enough to hold a hand, say a prayer with a family member, or read a sacred text. Rather than be anxious about what was to come, the pause became a way for me to begin again and bring my focus to the moment. The pause has become the norm before each visit, and it is still something I practice as I make visits within the retirement community I work for today.
The pause naturally found its way into my practice. It wasn’t until years later that I read about Statio. Statio, I learned from my Benedictine friends, is the practice of stopping one thing before beginning another. They say, “It’s the time between the times.”
For me, the pause means a brief time of silent prayer. For you, it could be the same or it may be a breathing exercise, or a moment of silence, or something else. The Benedictines say that Statio is “the virtue of presence.” How might your experience serve you to remove inner and outer distractions to recover your center and allow you to begin again…and again?
Offer what you have.

Observing Your Emotions

In your inmost being, how are your emotions informing you? Do they carry you away without any idea of where you are going? Do they allow you to see your own heart? Recently I was speaking with my son about looking inward, exploring our own feelings and emotions as an outside observer. He told me that he likes to think about it as if he is standing at a “T” in the road, watching cars drive past. “It’s not about whether the feeling is right or wrong but about allowing them to pass and to recognize how they are affecting me.” Observing feelings and emotions is not to ignore them but to understand them. We look for clues as to how we might offer an informed response, rather than react.
From a modern-day paraphrase of the Bible, the Message, a Jewish proverb reads, “Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts.” How do you keep “vigilant watch” over your heart? Draw on the life it gives. How might this make a difference in meeting people where they are at?
Offer what you have.

Learning from Success and Failure

Your successes and failures are meant to equip you, not define you. If they define you, buckle in for the rollercoaster ride. Your peaks will puff you up and your lows beat you up. To allow successes and failures to equip you, you must welcome both as teachers. Be a lifelong learner. You’ve likely heard it said, “If you think you’ve ‘arrived,’ that is a sure sign that you have not.”
Your worth is inherent, it is not dependent on what you do. Each person has dignity. This is foundational to the work that we do. This is what we offer to those we walk with each day. Certainly, our successes give us confidence to show up, but our failures ought not hold us back.
One person I meet with in my practice had a failed marriage when she was young, she is estranged from her only daughter, and has a grandson that she does not know how to find. She is fearful and lacks self-esteem. Another woman was a pastor’s wife all her life and is “above” questions of faith. How do you help those you serve understand their inherent worth? What is your approach to walk through someone’s failures and cheer their successes?
Offer what you have.

Conclusion

May your experiences serve you, your emotions inform you, and your successes and failures equip you.